Dowcipy w kategorii History jokes
"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays."
"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !
Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ? With their eyes shut !
How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !
I'm learning ancient history ? So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !
My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself !
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?" Student: "Baseballs." Teacher: "Baseballs?" Student: "Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!"
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ? Toga-ether we can rule the world !
What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ? A year older on his birthday !
What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !
What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !
What do history teachers make when they want to get together ? Dates !
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !
What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !
What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!
What was Camelot ? A place where people parked their camels !
What was Camelot famous for ? It's knight life !
What was King Arthur's favourite game ? Knights and crosses !
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ? Sat down !
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?
When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !
Where was the Magna Carta signed ? At the bottom !
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn't you say there was a quack in it !
Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ? Old King Coal !
Why did Arthur have a round table ? So no one could corner him !
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.
Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !
Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !
Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ? Because there were so many knights !
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.
You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !
"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays."
"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday. Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !
Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No, we were never introduced !
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ? With their eyes shut !
How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !
I'm learning ancient history ? So am I, lets go for a walk and talk over old times !
If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? His wife !
My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself !
Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
Teacher: "What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?" Student: "Baseballs." Teacher: "Baseballs?" Student: "Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!"
The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra ? Toga-ether we can rule the world !
What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.
What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light
What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ? A year older on his birthday !
What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !
What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies.
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !
What do history teachers make when they want to get together ? Dates !
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !
What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !
What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!
What was Camelot ? A place where people parked their camels !
What was Camelot famous for ? It's knight life !
What was King Arthur's favourite game ? Knights and crosses !
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ? Sat down !
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
When did Caesar reign ? I didn't know he reigned. Of course he did, didn't they hail him ?
When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight ? When they had lots of sleepless knights !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !
Where was the Magna Carta signed ? At the bottom !
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn't you say there was a quack in it !
Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ? The second one !
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ? Old King Coal !
Why did Arthur have a round table ? So no one could corner him !
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ? He liked to chop and change !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ? He wanted Mark Antony !
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving? They wanted another excuse to watch football.
Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ? Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !
Why did the Romans build straight roads ? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !
Why does history keep repeating itself ? Because we weren't listening the first time !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ? Because there were so many knights !
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.
You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !